lucky me. lucky me

i'm dreading spending my first three hours here just trying to make this come out right. writing. backtracking. looking for the perfect words. 

can i even delete this once it's posted? of course i can. the bigger question is do i even want anyone i know to know i've officially taken my inner dialogue public? maybe, if it's interesting and insightful. am I actually still interesting and insightful? i probably could be. especially if i'm not spending all my time self-censoring what i say, right? seven billion people on the planet and i'm stuck worrying about the four or five who might actually recognize their fingerprints and take offence.

(i'm secretly hoping - you should know - that this blog only gets viewed randomly at first. and then slowly and ever-so-quietly gets passed along through word of mouth until it seeps into the collective consciousness of this big (yet surprisingly small) interconnected world i keep hearing so much about. forget going viral. give me fame with the gentle touch. a handshake of carbon monoxide, as Thom Yorke would say.

paragraph four. hour two. Friday the 13th. and, send.\