all you need is Love?

To the owner of my favourite little Greek restaurant:

I love your restaurant. In fact, I believe it was love at first sight. Your simple establishment has marked the end of some memorable nights and the grilled octopus and rapini have spared me several hangovers, I'm sure. I even brought my parents over for Sunday lunch - possibly the most sacred of all Italian meals. We were all very impressed.

But you have no business being a waiter.

Please don't take this the wrong way. I just feel that restaurateurs should either be buried deep in the kitchen where no one can see them or - if at all personable - be simply greeting clients and asking how the food is. You do neither. Instead, you rushed Amy and I through our Valentine's meal the way a beady-eyed foreman would command a sweatshop assembly line.

If it weren't for the lamb chops...