My subconscious, the mute

It's rare that I can`t sleep. And even rarer that I can't fall back asleep.

I don't think I have a lot on my mind, but I guess my brain's doing its own thing. I kind of gave myself this week to conduct some solid research for Panama and Costa Rica and to get my shit in order. You know, tie some loose ends before I go. And maybe plant a couple of seeds for when I get back. So far, so good.

I always feel I got to do this kind of stuff before I take a plane. Just in case, right? Damn that tiny plane ride between Kenya and Uganda all those years ago. Shattered my confidence.

But there's more to it than just that, isn't there? I'm feeling some mild anxiety creeping in about things that have little to nothing to do with this trip. Maybe it's because Spring is mathematically just a day away now and the first quarter of the year will have come and gone and I'm wondering if I'm where I hoped I would be when I started this whole thing. Not just the blog thing. But the it's-time-to-grab-your-life-by-the-horns-again thing. How's all that going, anyway?

My fingers want to type "Just fine. Everything is going just fine. Almost right on schedule, actually!" But maybe my subconscious has got a different read on the situation. Dreams aside, he remains an enigmatic communicator.

Or maybe I'm just a poor listener.