forget me. forget you

sometimes i wonder if cats really do have any kind of long term memory - or whether they have the luxury of waking up every day with a clean slate.

after nearly two full weeks in perfect hiding, Angel is finally being spotted with some regularity. more often than not i'll be behind the window of the door to her room, just passing by, staring. the first time i caught a glimpse i remember almost being taken aback by how perfectly soft she looked in that moment. nervous, yes, but absorbed in the comfort of her own routine. way different than the terrified little animal that had pissed all over the cat carrier and run away under the couch without ever coming back out to say goodbye to her owner. sad way to say goodbye to your pet of twelve years. i would have been devastated.

now, i just look at her and wonder if she even remembers what the life was all about. i mean, i'm sure she memorized its scent. but had she even internalized any kind of sadness or anger from being wilfully (or unwillingly) abandoned? or was it just a question of self-preservation.

i still can't solve her stare.

all i see is a curious animal slowing making a new home. and starting over.