Showing posts with label backtracking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label backtracking. Show all posts

Wednesday

Monsoon 101

With the power cut it was almost impossible to see three feet in front of us. 

We had plunged into Anjuna's pitch black backroads without any light of our own. The village had already felt like a proper ghost town in the grey light of day and now, under the cloak of a suffocating Monsoon night, every shack and villa we met on the way looked impossibly desolate, like no one had occupied them in years. The twenty-minute walk would be a slow and treacherous one And then it was possible Curlies wouldn't even be open, the forbidding foot paths leading to it already laced with large puddles of cloudy water. We finally found one tiny shop five minutes in and picked up a tiny flashlight. We asked its owner, his soul-glow hair glistening in the humidity, if we were on the right track. He nodded. He then offered us everything from Cocaine to LSD to MDMA - should we change our minds and return to the hotel, perhaps. We declined politely and continued walking.

By the time we had reached the main asphalt road it was raining heavily. Puji and I switched sides so I could properly hold the umbrella and point the flashlight down in front of our feet while she tried her best to keep her purse dry. We were soaked in no time. Laughing at the ordeal still seemed right in that moment. The rain felt nice and all I wanted to do was ditch my sandals and walk barefoot to ease my blistered feet. We passed another small shack where a group of men next to their scooters were huddled by the counter, sitting out the heaviest of the rains. According to them we were still on the right track. 

But then after the taking a left at the chapel the road became muddy and narrow again. We were tossed into darkness and up to our ankles in muddy water without any real landmarks to follow. In Bombay such water would have spelled instant illness. The sign for Curlies made no sense. It seemed to lead to nowhere. I wondered if it was naive to assume that the flashlight batteries would make the trek. Then I imagined what the walk would become without it. 

We reached a parking lot where some twelve scooters stood idle next to a taxi stand sign. The Curlies guesthouse was equally lifeless except for one barking dog and the ominous shapes of random cows just standing there, motionless, in the pouring rain. The place was shut. We had walked nearly forty minutes for nothing. We found our way back to the last shop and asked those same men how Anjuna's most famous hippie joint could be shut. The undeniable sweet smell of hash burned like incense in the dampness and some of the men also looked pretty drunk. The place was not shut. It was by the beach some three hundred metres further down from the parking lot we ourselves had abandoned. No cab would take us there now because the roads were flooded and too narrow. We had no choice, really, but to walk back. There we could get a cab. Walking back home with nothing to show for it seemed a worse outcome still.

The way seemed even longer the second time around. My feet were absolutely screaming from the blisters. After accepting a thirty-second lift from a young guy with some foreign rock playing in his car, we were dropped off at the same taxi stand. The water seemed deeper, the mud thicker now. Still no lights or any sign of life. We were walking completely blind now and I rationally considered many different outcomes to this night. The wind seemed hell bent on apprehending the umbrella and the gushing water finally claimed my sandals, splitting the sole in two and leaving me with only a soggy tongue for a show. I went barefoot as Puji called out into the dark asking anyone for help. One man, whose flashlight we had seen only minutes ago, called back and finally appeared from his own desolate shack and led us down the proper path. 

We couldn't help but laugh then. It was the laughter that we had spoken about before leaving; the one that comes from embarking on a dumb adventure and emerging unscathed, except maybe for a couple of blisters and a good story to show for it. 


Sunday

old shoebox, you can't help me now

i feel like there is no clear past to fall back on. everything i have ever done is framed on yellowed newspapers, burned onto hundreds of scattered blank CDs with fading titles and even stored on external hard drives that are now corrupted and only retrievable with obscene amounts of money. i'm so frustrated. i'm not even sure what i'm looking for anymore. maybe some magical piece of work that is going to remind me what i should have been doing all along. instead, everything i come across is strangely forbidding. no, you don't want to play that one. you don't want to read that note. you don't want to be disappointed, do you? 

now i understand why people burn all their most intimate belongings. 

so to recap...

i feel like i've been everywhere but right here. and this is the last you'll hear of any of this because i promised myself when i started writing this thing that i wasn't going to become that person that wasted all his words writing about how little he was writing.

my Nonna had the perfect quote today (the way she always seems to, you should know). spend all your time focused on every little step you're taking and you simply will never get anywhere. how is this relevant to me in this moment? i really can't say. but it feels relevant. because today was a quick baptism with family i don't get to see as often as i should and yesterday night was just a bike ride to the Jazz Fest with Cromeo in the background, street hot dogs and dorky tourists asking why you're lucky enough to be walking around with a group of pretty girls you hardly even know. and before that there were concrete walls to be built on sticky summer days. and before that perfect strangers convinced that you're always smiling, even when it's just on the inside. and before that a kick ass day at the water slides with Amy. and before that Fiona Apple in all her raw and angry glory. and before that...

not sure i want to go back any further. what's done is done. all seemingly inconsequential steps on some kind of path that is remains very much undefined. so we look ahead. and keep walking.  

Tuesday

mayday, i can`t explain

I'm always going to have a soft spot for May Day.

Let's put the plight of the international workers and all the student protests and the death of Bin Laden aside for a second. Six years ago to the day, my brother Mark and I opened the first side of il Terzo Piano. It was our first jam space. Well, the first jam space we built ourselves - and a first of many hard lessons in construction, cost over-runs, sound leakage and nation building.

But when it opened, it became the coolest spot in my universe. All turquoise blue and sunburst orange. There was Vox Populi and D Open D in Room 1, Broken Palace in Room 2, odd couple Nick and Jonathan in a windowless Room 4 and Kamikaze in the deluxe suite. Humble beginnings, but with so much promise. Like Balzac had been at one time. And it didn't take much for the place to catch fire. In the next three years, it became the place to be. It was the place to spend your Tuesday mornings and your Sunday nights. It was the place I would run to from my parent's during the summer and the perfect place to have a snowball fight on a March night. It was always Franco's last stop after tour - and just a short drive to the quarry, if need be. We walked its stinky streets and admired the giant reservoirs from the roof in states few people would ever understand. We poured bending guitars into the hallways and shared our most intimate words on her cold, hard floors. The vibe was almost always positive, the pad parties were epic and those of us dedicated to the real cause all got to create some special music there. For me, the place peaked with Uptown VineRise, still months and months after our final pad party in the back section and before things went really sour with the landlords. And the band. But every musician will have their own story; their own beginning and ends.

And even in those last two years, when everything was broken and cold hard reality crept into those magical hallways; when the early wounds were torn open, the salt poured and the place left to slowly rot from the inside, I always found a good reason to go back. It wasn't always easy. But it was always necessary. Because that place was ours until the day it wasn't.

In my head, it'll always be all shiny and new.

Sunday

April's fool on the hill

yeah, I'm gonna have to take the whole Costa Rica love fest thing down a couple of notches. almost nothing of any good came of this day. first thing this morning it was back to Budget to deal with an oil leak - the apparent victim of the rocky road to Volcan Barva. we got a new car but not without some major guilt from the rep, who insisted that such car parts don't just suddenly rupture. it was early and i didn't have the heart to try to plead my case, even though the car was already quite beat up when we got it. we left there with an aqua Corolla and a full day ahead of us but we had a hell of a time getting to Volcan Irazu. "Be forewarned: Roads in the Central Valley are poorly signed, so it is best to bring a good road map." oh how right you are, Mr. Lonely Planet. this time we were literally driving into the clouds. on Palm Sunday. and despite the fact that all the interesting trails were closed once we surrendered the $22 admission fee, it felt surreal to be that high up. the clouds would be so perfectly cut out against the blue sky for minutes at a time. and then the mist of a passing cloud would blow in and leave us all in a sudden chill. but those same beautiful clouds made for some treacherous driving on the way back down. it was getting dark so much sooner than we had anticipated and the mist grew so thick you could not see five feet in front of you. the thought of flying off any one of those barrier-less cliffs crossed both our minds - though we kept it to ourselves until after it had cleared. we never did find any of those perfect little lodges in the mountains and had to settle for a stuffy little hostel in the seedy little town of Turrialba below. but so it goes. what the Universe giveth, she can just as easily taketh away.   

Tuesday

it's almost Spring. let's dig a little, shall we?

As a born-again blogger, I knew it was only a question of time before I'd go digging into my own past.

This particular blog comes from the Kamikaze website; that amazing little text blog that never even allowed you to link to anything you were writing about. (My, how we have progressed...)

Monday 22nd of October 2007 ( 08:19:24 PM )-----------------------------------------------------
Lessons from Central America
Hiking through the rainforest is a sweaty enterprise; driving through cloudy mountains in the dead of night is another workout altogether. You can not outmaneuver a sand crab or outstare an iguana. White-faced monkeys will steal your lunch if given the chance. Costa Rican cops are not much different. Oh, and avoid US airports, US airlines and US customs at all costs.

At least it's still relevant. Guess I haven't changed all that much. I might be a little light on the sarcasm these days, but it's definitely still in me. I'm also still flying through the U.S. - so much for heeding my own advice.

Someday, I'm going to properly archive those 148 posts. Such a beautiful past.

Wednesday

forward, back through time.

If blogs are supposed to be so current, than why is it often more interesting to read what someone you follow was writing two or three years ago? Back before you even knew they existed.
Maybe I just want to figure out why people become who they are.
Maybe the past is just more innocent.
I wonder what this blog might read like in two or three or five years - should it ever make it that far.
More importantly, I wonder what any of these early posts might read like in two or three years to someone who will have just stumbled upon this blog then.

If you are reading this from the future, I'd love to hear from you. Someday.

Friday

a list is a terrible thing to waste

sometimes i make lists.
sometimes, i even make lists on what i should be doing and how i should be doing it.
(this entire writing experiment is a result of one of those lists)
i actually went through one particularly pressing list i had stored on my iPhone late last year and was pleased to see that i actually followed through on a couple of those promises to myself.
but there is still one particular bullet point that i have yet to honour.
and tonight, as i met Kev and Karim in the hallways here and heard about the loft party they will be playing at tonight, i couldn't help but wonder if i would have the butterflies in my stomache, waiting for that 11 pm slot to come around.
had i followed through...

lucky me. lucky me

i'm dreading spending my first three hours here just trying to make this come out right. writing. backtracking. looking for the perfect words. 

can i even delete this once it's posted? of course i can. the bigger question is do i even want anyone i know to know i've officially taken my inner dialogue public? maybe, if it's interesting and insightful. am I actually still interesting and insightful? i probably could be. especially if i'm not spending all my time self-censoring what i say, right? seven billion people on the planet and i'm stuck worrying about the four or five who might actually recognize their fingerprints and take offence.

(i'm secretly hoping - you should know - that this blog only gets viewed randomly at first. and then slowly and ever-so-quietly gets passed along through word of mouth until it seeps into the collective consciousness of this big (yet surprisingly small) interconnected world i keep hearing so much about. forget going viral. give me fame with the gentle touch. a handshake of carbon monoxide, as Thom Yorke would say.

paragraph four. hour two. Friday the 13th. and, send.\